Is My Husband an Alcoholic, Does He Need Treatment, and How Do I Handle It?

Question by : Is my husband an alcoholic, does he need treatment, and how do I handle it?
My husband and I have been married for 8 years. When we met he had 1 DUI. But he’s had 2 more, for a total of 3. The last one was about 5 years ago when he was 30. I never understood why I could drink a little and then stop, but he never could. Once he starts he can’t quit and come home at a decent time and not be completely wasted. Today he started drinking at 1pm during golf and then at the bar for a total of 13 hours. He doesn’t drive when he drinks anymore because of all the DUI’s, thank goodness that is one lesson he has learned. But he comes home and argues with me about anything. I can be asleep and he will start mumbling any random thing to start an argument. Sometimes I pretend to still be sleeping, other times I can’t resist to argue back just because I’m so fed up with it all. He ruined my birthday last weekend and embarrassed me in front of my friends. I rarely go out because I’m always home with our son, so when we do go out I like to have a good time, and the drunk fights he starts ruins it almost every time. Besides the binge drinking for hours at least one night almost every weekend, he also drinks 2-3 nights during the week. It’s anywhere from a couple beers to several. That wouldn’t concern me if it wasn’t for the added weekend binge drinking. His father and aunt were alcoholics and both died at early ages because of the disease. His friends all drink similar to what he does so it makes it hard to control unless I were to insist he not hang out with them. Which would not stop him, I know my husband, and would only cause additional issues. I do love him and want to be a family with him for our son. But all the years of this has also made me grown to resent him and on some level makes me unattracted to him. It worries me that when I think of leaving it doesn’t really upset me. When he’s sober we have a great time and he’s a great dad. But he does not think he has a problem at all and just likes to have fun. Does he and what can I do help family?

Best answer:

Answer by Connor
First of all I would like to tell you that what you are experiencing is semi-normal. An addiction to alcohol is not an uncommon, especially in males. If I were you, I would first try to talk to him and express your concern while he is not under the influence of alcohol. During this talk you should let him know that you are concerned about his health and his safety. Also, you should tell him that you want him to be there for you and children. If this does not work, I would look into outpatient drug/alcohol counseling provided by a local hospital, or a private practice. As a second to last resort, I would recommend in-patient alcohol counseling. As a LAST RESORT, and only a LAST RESORT, I recommend that you take your children and leave. Obviously, this is not a permanent solution and is intended to “get through” to him that he needs help.

If you are looking into in-patient alcohol counseling, I recommend CARON. CARON’s main treatment center is located in Pennsylvania. My Pop went here a few months back and it worked wonders for him! If you are seriously considering this and would like more information, see caron.org

Finally, if you feel that you or your children’s lives are in danger, leave ASAP and notify local authorities.

I wish you and your family the best of luck in whichever route you choose to take.

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